Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Let's talk about sex, baby

Now that I is back and my rent has been paid, my life is the slightest bit less topsy-turvy - but not by much.

As if uncertainty and stress weren't good enough reasons for my being missing in action. . .if AT&T isn't fucking me over with their sporadically malfunctioning internet service, my computer is broken; and if my computer isn't broken, it won't charge. Boo, I say - but with an optimistic air. :)

I started this entry on Monday for lack of one of my weekly memes. Wednesday Weirdness looks like tons of fun this week but I don't have much time so I think I'll finish this one instead.

Forever and a day ago, ASM's very own Hubman tagged me in a sex meme I think you'll all enjoy. I'd like to tag Blissfully Wed, Ms. Inconspicuous and Sweat Shop Sissy - and I apologize if any tagees have already filled this out!

This is Isabella’s Sex Meme. Anyone is welcome to steal it but you must post this rules blurb at the beginning of the meme:
1. You must include this link to Sex Talk - Sex Advice for Men.
2. You must answer every question! If you don’t have a good answer, you are strongly encouraged to make up something good; we like to be entertained.
3. You must tag 3 people.

1. Sex in the morning or sex at night? My morning and night are rather subjective but I think what you really want to know is: do I prefer sex right when I wake up or sex right before I hit the hay? Given the ultimatum, I'd definitely take the romantic, slow morning sex that picks up pace until you're ready to kick the day's ass - though I don't get it often enough. :(

2. Better sex music - Sade or Marvin Gaye? I don't listen to either nor can I recall Sade's style; and I don't do the sex music thing often enough to have a favorite anyway.

3. Naughty pics or naughty home videos? I prefer pictures; they're easy to take and remaster at will and share with the masses! Though I have a few candid videos that came out pertty good and I'm planning to make lots more soon.

4. Fabulous sex with: Dr Doug Ross or Dr Greg House? Dr. House hands down - regardless of the fact that I have no idea who Doug Ross is. =X (Edit: Ok, of course I remember George Clooney's character on ER; it's just been so long since I've followed that program that I didn't remember his name. But nonetheless, my answer doesn't change; not much of a Clooney fan.)

5. Vibrator or dildo? Vibrating dildo, of course. I don't find much pleasure just stretching myself out without a bit of good, good, good, good vibrations.

6. Bedroom sex: lights off or lights on? I'm jealous of ASM and Hubman's candles and dimmer! For lack of a better solution on my budget I prefer the lights on; the visual is just as good as the tactile.

7. Word preference: pussy or cunt? Even after watching The Vagina Monologues I still prefer pussy (and cock or dick). Cunt, I think, is a European thing; it kind of makes me cringe.

8. Spanking over the knee or spanking only during sex? I don't think my relationship with J has the dynamics for over-the-knee spanking but I'm perfectly satisfied with our in-sex spank wars. ;) Hehe!

9. More exciting: sex in an elevator or sex in an aeroplane? Elevator! What if it starts moving? Unlike an airplane bathroom, an elevator's doors aren't guaranteed to stayed shut. . .unless we're talking airplane seat sex. Ooh!

10. Ron Jeremy or Peter North? Ron Jeremy - in a platonic way - because he seems like such an awesome guy. I wouldn't mind a little of his tongue action either. ;)

11. Word preference: cock or dick? Cock by the hair on its teeth. Ok, maybe that's a bad time to use that metaphor. . . Hah.

12. Linda Lovelace or Jenna Jameson? Both! At the same time! Oh yes. . . :)

13. Rope bondage or bondage tape? Rope; J prefers it and I don't fancy the sting of tape removal.

14. Give rim job or receive anal sex? I've always been anti both but I'm starting to think I'm ready for 'em; I'll keep you posted as to my preference when I've got more experience under my belt. ;)

15. Get rich stripping in a skanky bar or get rich as a call girl for celebs? I think the skanks would pay me more. My body type isn't exactly appreciated in the celebrity world and I'm a bit of a voyeur anyhow.

16. Which threesome - boy/girl/girl or boy/boy/girl? Either works for me. Why can't there be 4 or 5 people?

17. Flavoured oil or tingling oil? Flavored; it's like chocolate sauce but 10 times the price! My skin is too sensitive for the tingling and warming varieties, sadly.

18. Pearl necklace or swallow? Swallowing is cleaner but I'm happy to receive pearl necklaces and anklets and nipple rings at request. Hehe.

19. Sex while strangers watch or sex with a stranger? I've never had sex with a stranger, per se, but having strangers and friends watch us puts me on cloud nine!

20. Tied to the bed or to a St Andrew’s cross? Tying J to the bed. . . ;)

Friday, September 12, 2008

My missing roommate has turned up. . .

SHE IS HOME.

Thanks for all your concern. I'm gonna go spend some time with her now.

/ser infiel.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

MY ROOMMATE IS MISSING. PLEASE HELP!!!

MY ROOMMATE IS MISSING. PLEASE HELP. THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

You all still get your nudie/porn pic only because I know it'll draw more attention to this issue.

The gorgeous and sweet I that I mention in my blog has now been missing for 7 days. We have reason to believe she has been kidnapped and is in or around Sacramento, California.

Please send me an e-mail if you live in Northern California. I'll respond back promptly with more information about the situation and, if you seem honest and trustworthy, a contact number to keep in touch with me and share updates.

In the meantime, please keep her in your thoughts, prayers and whatever-elses. Please do not spam me with e-mails or phone calls; this is a serious and dire matter and there will be legal recourse if anyone in any way prevents me from finding my friend.

/ser infiel.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

HNT #5 - J's first appearance!

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Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Wednesday Weirdness #19

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Tuesday, September 2, 2008

TMI Tuesday #150

What's with this girl? She goes from posting several times a day to flashing once a week!

Life has been exceptionally odd recently. I promise to get back into the swing of blogging soon (within the month) because I miss this coterie, this support group. Until then I want to thank everyone for the sweet and sassy comments on the last few HNTs; you all put a smile on my face and a moistness in my panties! Hehe.

I can't forget to send a very special shout out to J. He knows about the blog, the infidelity and he still loves me. Told you he's a keeper. ;) More on that soon!

And now for a little Too Much Information. . .



1. When was the last time someone hit on you? What went down? I'm on summer vacation from university right now so I've been doing an unwonted amount of partying. It seems that every time I'm in the presence of someone who's drunk, high or both, they either want to suck my toes or have me suck them off. Needless to say nothing goes down - except maybe their self-esteem!

2. If you were single and could be with any one person, who would it be (thinking singer/actor or someone famous here, but whatever)? I won't pretend I know any celebrity well enough to be able to say I'd like to be with them but there are a few I'd like to date - for example Angelenia Jolie, Christina Ricci, Johnny Depp and Marshall Mathers - and not for any of the reasons you'd probably guess. ;)

3. Have you ever had done anything sexual in your office or your place of employment? A lab I used to work at had a very sexy nursery room (for cells, not babies!): complete darkness with a groovy ultraviolet aura, cramped spaces and science, Meredith, science! But I never got around to making use of it. . . :(

4. Do you apologize when you make a mistake? How do you react when someone calls you out? If it's the kind of mistake that begs apology then yes; otherwise I'll just correct myself. When someone rudely call out a mistake I've made I get frustrated - even if I'm wrong - but I'll usually just say "Thanks" or "No, I'm right; look it up." Besides. . .I'm always right! =P

5. Top or bottom? Bottom all the way. But I can be a switch if J begs hard enough. I love to be begged. . . ;)

Bonus. How old were you when you first had a willing sexual experience? With myself, 3 or 4. With another person, 8. What - didn't everybody start out so young? Hah.

For more awesome science tats, check out the photo gallery at Tattoo Blog! Is this some sort of hint for this week's HNT? Maybe. . . ;)

/ser infiel.